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Random Thoughts on the Oscars

  1. Halle Barry looks like she's wearing a pair of pajamas or a prison suit.
  2. Who hired the Munchkin (Kristin Chenoweth) for the pre-show? 
  3. . . . She sounds like one too.
  4. How embarrassingly ingratiating does co-host (one of many) Lara Spencer have to be?
  5. Robin Roberts was a co-host again this year but not the main host as she's been before. 
  6. . . . She looked good and had a set of sculpted arms on her, like Angela Bassett had playing Tina Turner in "What's Love Got To Do With It," back in 1993.
  7. Seth MacFarlane is the host.  Who's he?
  8. Seems, acts like a know-it-all.
  9. High on the snark already.  We don't need that.
  10. How come he's acting like a standup comedian?
  11. William Shatner appeared above the stage on a big screen and quickly went into critique mode on MacFarlane.
  12. . . . There were many routines in which the host tried to redeem himself.
  13. . . . MacFarlane is talented and is rolling with the punches
  14. He sang "We Saw Your Boobs," a celebration of exposure through the years in cinema.  Reaction shots of the female stars were interspersed.   
  15. Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron looked like failed "Dancing With the Stars" contestants.
  16. "You scaled the mountain because you're not afraid of it," said best supporting actor winner Christoph Waltz in homage  during his acceptance speech to director Quentin Tarantino, of "Django Unchained."
  17. . . . DeNiro should've won.
  18. Travolta's in the audience.  He looks good.
  19. How much of a brat is that little girl, Quvenzahne Wallis of "Beasts of the Southern Wild," gonna grow into?
  20. If I see Anne Hathaway crying in "Les Miserables" one more time I'll . . .
  21. There's Halle again, strutting up slowly to the microphone to introduce the James Bond movies appreciation segment which, a friend of mind thinks, is just a clip reel of movie trailers.
  22. . . . Good to see Shirley Bassey again who sang "Goldfinger," probably the best known Bond song, although "For Your Eyes Only" (Sheena Easton.  Where's she?) was pretty good too.
  23. . . . Bassey got a standing ovation.  That was great to see.
  24. JUST ASKING.  Are all these hip, elaborately produced "jcp" (J.C. Penney) commercials gonna save that company?  Too bad the stores aren't as good as the ads.
  25. Bring back Billy Crystal.
  26. Bring back Whoopi.
  27. Jaoquin Phoenix is in the audience. 
  28. . . . I guess he's changed his estimation of the movie business.
  29. . . . He fiddled with being a rap/hip-hop artist a while back but has seemed have abandoned those aspirations and returned to his first "love" -- moviemaking.
  30. . . . He was great in "The Master."
  31. "Amour" won for best foreign film.  It was good but boy was it depressing.
  32. INTERESTING.  The music for tonight's show is not coming up from the orchestra pit. 
  33. . . . They're at Capitol Records at Hollywood & Vine, doing it remotely.  The control room's just putting in the audio from there instead of downstage.
  34. . . . I guess that's what they can do now.
  35. . . . I guess, like the Internet, you can be anywhere now and not necessarily where the action is.
  36. . . . Progress. 
  37. Catherine Zeta-Jones was obviously lip syncing "All That Jazz."
  38. . . . If I hear/see that routine one more time I'll . . .
  39. They could've used that echo effect they're using in Jennifer Hudson's rendering of "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going" (from "Dreamgirls") for Shirley Bassey's "Goldfinger" performance.  She was good but could've used some enhancement.
  40. I'd rather hear Susan Boyle sing  "I Dreamed a Dream" (from Les "Miz") than Anne Hathaway -- more straigtforward and not affected.
  41. . . . Oh God, here comes Russell Crowe singing his part from the movie.  He was terrible.  He's no singer.
  42. . . . What a hearingly confusing hodgepodge the "live" "Les Miz" cast is made out of a song.  I can't understand a word any of 'em is singing.  They're all singing on top of one another.
  43. Hugh Jackman's wife came to the Academy Awards in a ponytail.  Glad the occasion was so special for her.
  44. I'm sorry Sally (Field) didn't win.  Hathaway did. 
  45. . . . It seems like they're giving her (Hathaway) more acceptance time than the others, unfair.
  46. . . . She seems like a little girl. 
  47. . . . Grow up.
  48. . . . Sally fought Spielberg to get the Mary Todd Lincoln role.
  49. . . . You could detect her disappointment when they announced Hathaway.
  50. Adele performing "Skyfall":   A lotta hoopla for nothing.
  51. . . . The audio mix was lousy.  Unbalanced.  You couldn't even hear all those strings behind her.
  52. They ought to lay on a shuttle bus for some of the people in the back of the audience when they win and it takes too long to reach the stage.
  53. . . . Hurry up.
  54. Barbra Streisand appeared at the end of the "In Memoriam" segment when they came to Marvin Hamlisch. 
  55. . . . She and the composer/conductor were personal friends and collaborators for many years.
  56. . . . She appeared from the dark to the piano part of "The Way We Were" and sang the hit song he wrote the music for very personally to her friend.
  57. . . . It was touching and an unusual thing to have Streisand sing on the awards show.
  58. . . . She probably got a standing ovation but you couldn't see it because the director "faded to black" and went to a commmerical,  didn't show an audience reaction shot.
  59. Bring on the music . . . Give Ang Lee the hook "Life of Pi").  He won for best director and babbled on. 
  60. Jennifer Lawrence tripped on the steps on the way up to the stage.
  61. . . . She had on a dress with a huge train. 
  62. . . . It was an accident waiting to happen.
  63. . . . She went on up to the mike to make her acceptance speech and kidded about it.
  64. . . .  The show went on.
  65. . . . Couldn't the board of regents or somebody have paid for an usher to escort one of the biggest stars of the evening to the stage?  Is that too much to ask for?
  66. . . . But maybe one was there and just wasn't paying attention.
  67. . . . But I don't blame him though.  There wasn't much to pay attention to.
  68. Michelle Obama, aspiring TV personality, appeared from the White House to talk about this year's nine nominees for picture of the year, an enhancement to Jack Nicholson's presentation duties.
  69. . . . It looked like she was with members of the military.
  70. . . . She gave a pep talk.
  71. . . . Then she threw it back to Jack.
  72. . . . Then Jack threw it back to her to announce the winner:  "Argo."
  73. . . . That movie's whole troupe came on stage, including the bearded George Clooney, who was a producer on the film.
  74. . . . One of the lesser producers hogged the mike with his on and on nonsense.
  75. . . . He then thought he had to give us a history of who did what.
  76. . . . He finally "introduced" Ben Affleck who was anxiously awaiting his turn at the mike.
  77. . . . Affleck acted embarrassed by his colleague's hog job.
  78. . . . When he finally got the mike Affleck gushed all over the place, saying things about the movie and its making and the people who did it and his wife Jennifer Garner and their marriage and when he was a kid the last time he won ("Good Will Hunting") and what you have to do to keep on moving in the business.
  79. . . . For God's sake he finally finished.
  80. . . . It was a yawner.
  81. . . . Munchkin Kristin Chenoweth came on stage and sang a duet with the show's host and mid-way through I turned off the TV. 
  82. . . . I had seen enough.
  83. . . . It was a dumb way to end the show. 
  84. . . . The director should've shown people in the audience -- the people you tune in to see -- and not two silly-acting co-hosts doing an old soft-shoe.


Dan Murano's picture
Love this -- better than watching it live!
They gave Anne Hathaway an oscar for getting a bad haircut on camera and then crying about it. That isn't acting...millions of women do that every day.
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