danmurano.com

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December 5, 2013

MUMBO JUMBO

  1. All this health care stuff. (Healthcare.gov): 50,000users” on the same website at the same time in the “health insurance marketplace”; “glitchy enrollment”; “capacity upgrades”; “command centers” that monitor “bug fixes” in real time . . .
  2. . . . . “Many more “users” can create new accounts and log on,” said Jeff Zients, the White House’s new economic adviser who’s heading up the repair efforts.”
  3. . . . . “In effect we widened the system’s “on-ramp.” It now has four lanes instead of one or two.”
  4. . . . . Sounds like a used car lot.
  5. . . . . Wouldn’t it have been fun to be an IT person on that job?
  6. . . . . Julie Bataille, a spokeswoman for the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid services, said while the experience is “vastly improved,” as with any website, “there is not a magic moment.”
  7. (“This Magic Moment,” done by The Drifters, on Atlantic Records, 1960, and later a hit for Jay & The Americans in 1969, on United Artists Records.)
  8. . . . . Enough about insurance, but maybe they could get Dennis Haysbert, that deep-throated ”Allsate Guy,” to sell it and ask, “Are you in good hands?”
  9. A friend of mine said, “So I heard the song and saw the video for the “Ciley Myrus” single, “Wrecking Ball.”
  10. . . . . Poor guy. I corrected him and said Billy Ray’s daughter’s name is “Miley Cyrus,” not vicey versy.
  11. . . . . Anyway, it’s the second release from her album, “Bangerz.”
  12. . . . . NOTE: A banger is “a song that’s really tight or “unbelievably awesome,” according to the Urban Dictionary. I guess that’s what they mean. And I guess they put the “z” on the end instead of an “s” to be awesome too.
  13. . . . .Ball” shows a “matured” Hannah Montana dangling and writhing naked on a wrecking ball busting up walls.
  14. . . . . She’s racy now.
  15. . . . . It’s popular to be that way.
  16. . . . . She and Britney Spears seem to be following the same trajectory.
  17. Since when did they start calling Victoria’s Secret “supermodels,” “Dream Angels”?
  18. . . . . What’s angelic about that bunch? What would their daddies say?
  19. . . . . Their current campaign is described as “our most romantic collection and “softer than ever and finished with heavenly lace.”
  20. . . . . They’ve got the “Dream Angels Demi Bra and Chantilly Lace (“Chantilly Lace” – The Big Bopper, 1958, on Mercury Records) V-String Panty,” the “Dream Angels Demi Bra and Lace-Trim Cheekini (ahem, cheek?) Panty,” the “Dream Angels Demi Bra Chantilly Lace Garter and V-String Panty” and many more selections for you and your partner’s enjoyment.
  21. Such detail just for underwear.
  22. Santa’s got a bad back again this year. You can see him bent over and aching in his workshop before he travels the world. And he’s still got it when he arrives at one of his stops along the way.
  23. . . . . But along with his milk and cookies is a bottle of . . . Aleve.
  24. . . . . How thoughtful.
  25. . JUST ASKING. Haven’t we had enough of Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) appearing everywhere in his “Anchorman 2”character? Enough’s enough.
  26. ARE THEY STILL DOING THAT? They’re advertising Arthur Murray dance classes on WTOP, all news radio, in the nation’s capital.
  27. . . . . I didn’t know they were still around.
  28. Murray was famous for teaching ballroom dancing and created a national dance studio chain that, obviously, still exists. They’re all over the place.
  29. . . . . They made a TV show out of it and it ran on CBS, NBC, DuMont, ABC, CBS again and then PBS.
  30. . . . . It seemed old fogyish back in the day and we used to make fun of it.
  31. . . . . It was sorta like “Lawrence Welk and his Champagne Music Makers.”
  32. I saw Ken Burns, the documentary filmmaker, the other night and his hair looked darker than usual. I guess he, too, succumbs to age.
  33. . . . . But he still had the Beatle cut.
  34. HEARD: The “Uh-huh, honey” phrase (“sample”) in Kanye West’s “Bound 2” single (from album “Yeezus” (Roc-A-Fella Records, 2013) and video – the one with soon–to-be wife Kim Karadashian riding nakedly on a motorcycle facing hubby-to-be – is from Brenda Lee’s single, “Sweet Nothin’s,” from back in 1959 (Decca Records).
  35. Lee sang rockabilly, rock ‘n’ roll and country and was nicknamed “Little Miss Dynamite,” mainly because she was just four feet, nine inches.
  36. Philomena.” “Dallas Buyers Club.” Go see ‘em.
  37. In the National Enquirer’s10 Things You Didn’t Know About . . . Diane Sawyer, #8 was “She loves sad songs – “let’s have fun” music makes her anxious.
  38. . . . . ( “Sad Movies (Always Make Me Cry)” – Sue Thompson, on Hickory Records, 1961.)
  39. At a new restaurant/deli in Washington recently they asked me if I wanted them to “text” me when my table was ready. (I guess this is an updated version of that buzzer thing they hand you when you walk in.)
  40. . . . . But it turned out they didn’t have to text me because things loosened up and we were escorted to our seats in that cacophonous place.
  41. . . . . I know I’m late on this but is this what it’s all coming to?
  42. . . . . I understand they already have “tablets” at the tables in places like Chili’s and Applebee’s – or they’re experimenting with them.
  43. . . . . According to Nicole Cochran, senior director of marketing at Chili’s, it’s not to cut back on wait staff and labor costs.
  44. . . . . Oh yeah?
  45. . . . . They say it adds to the family dining experience. You can see pictures of the food and the kids can play computer games.
  46. . . . . I’ll pass.
  47. . . . . Bloomberg Businessweek reports that “the real allure of the tablets, Chili’s has found, is that they reliably increase the size of the average check.”
  48. . . . . Ah . . . But of course.
  49. Pardon me now, I’m gonna take a “selfie,” thanks.
  50. UH . . .Respect Yourself -- The Staple Singers, 1971, on Stax Records.
  51. Selfie.” So millennial-ish.
  52. . . . . JUST ASKING. Will my Christmas presents be delivered by a drone? If so, I hope it doesn’t collide with Santa and his sleigh.

Comments:

 
Karla McDuffie's picture
Ah-hahaha! If I take your advice and watch all those movies you recommend, I'd be instantly broke. On the other hand, if I listen to those great hits like, "Respect Yourself," “Sad Movies (Always Make Me Cry)” “Sweet Nothin’s,” “Chantilly Lace,” and especially “This Magic Moment,” I'll be transported for free. Think I'll be going on youtube. Have a marvelous Christmas holiday and happy new year, Roc!
   

 

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