Rocci Fisch

Random Thoughts

Rocci Fisch watches what's out there and has a lot to say about it. "Random Thoughts" is a quick-read, running commentary column which features his observations about the news, pop culture and the media, zested up with Rocci's unique humor.

They're All Up In Arms

May 19, 2013
  1. The press is . . . about three current “scandals” facing the Obama administration:  the IRS  under fire for targeting conservatives, the aftermath of the raid on Benghazi  (again) and Associated Press phone records  seized involving an al-Qaeda plot.
  2. . . . . Their mouths are watering.  They smell a rat.
  3. . . . . A friend of mine called them the “gutter” press.   
  4. . . . . The pundits are in heaven.
  5. . . . . Lots of allegations, lots of denials.
  6. . . . . They’re even wondering if a special prosecutor/independent counsel might be needed in order to “investigate.”
  7. . . . . Shades of Watergate?
  8. . . . .  Abuse of power?
  9. . . . . Bottom up, top down.
  10. . . . . “Damage Control.”
  11. . . . . It’s good for the news cycle.
  12. . . . . It’s snowballing. 
  13. . . . . “Turbulent Week for the White House” is what ABC’s This Week” headlined it, along with a picture of a 1040 IRS tax form in the lower left-hand portion of the TV screen.   How clever.
  14. MOVIE:  “Star Trek Into Darkness.”  Pretty fantastic special effects.  Chris Pine plays Capt. Kirk with those Lisa Rinna-type lips (His are a little less bee-stung.);  Zachary Quinto plays Spock with those funny ears;  Zoe Saldana plays Uhura who speaks “Klingon”;  Benedict Cumberbatch –wow, what a real-life name --  plays bad guy Khan with a booming British accent,  and many other familiar characters are brought back.
  15. . . . . There’s a lot of fist-fighting and people jumping and falling great distances and smashing and crashing and outer space near-misses.  
  16. . . . . The movie moves in a rapid clip.
  17. . . . . The theme at the end of the movie over closing credits sounded real good.  That’s the “Star Trek” I remember.
  18. DOCTOR’S ORDERS.  I had a burning in my lower leg.  I recently had a growth removed and I thought it might have been some side effect from that.
  19. . . . . So when I asked the dermatologist about it she said it wasn’t anything that was a result of the “surgery” she performed and that I better go to my “primary care physician.”
  20. . . . . I thought to myself , “You mean my fri_ _in’ doctor?”
  21. . . . . Speak English, for God’s sake and don’t get so technical about it.
  22. They did a final goodbye to Randy Jackson on “American Idol” this past week, showing pictures of him then and now.  He announced the previous week that he has decided to leave the show after 12 years of being a judge.
  23. . . . . Leaving or fired?
  24. . . . . He said it had been “a life changing opportunity.” 
  25. . . . . So there’ll be no more “Yo! Yo! Yo!,” no more “Dawg,” no more  “In  It to Win It” and no more “pitchy”-ness.
  26. . . . . It’s sorta sad the way the producers have ruined the hit show over the last couple of years.  At its peak “Idol”  pulled in 30 million viewers a week.  Lately it’s been 14 or 15 million.
  27. . . . . Every show has its own shelf-life.
  28. . . . . NOTICED.  Ryan Seacrest, host of “Idol,” saluted while saying “Goodnight everybody” at the end of the last show of the season. 
  29. . . . . Just like Dick Clark, his own idol, used to do.
  30. . . . . So is Seacrest copping a trademark sign-off?
  31. . . . . Ryan Seacrest, you’re no Dick Clark.
  32. “I’m Don Lemon.  This is CNN.” 
  33. . . . . He drops the “and” between the two sentences just like Jake Tapper does.  (Mentioned in an earlier --April 29 -- more in-depth “Random Thoughts” column about the new ad campaign.)
  34. . . . . Maybe it’s more anchorman-like.
  35. . . . . Dr. Sanjay Gupta says the “and.”
  36. . . . . And a TWO-FER, STANDING TOGETHER, SMILING:  “I’m Chris Cuomo.”  “I’m Kate Balduan.”  CUOMO:  “This . . . ”;  BALDUAN:  “is CNN.”
  37. . . . . They finish each other’s sentence.  Just like a married couple.
  38. NBC canceled “Rock Center” -- always a dumb name for that prime-time news magazine show – due to low ratings. 
  39. . . . . Anchor Brian Williams stood up for the show and spoke of the work the staff did for it.
  40. . . . . “Our people got shot at for this broadcast . . .”
  41. . . . . Whoa!  That happened?  What story?  Was it Richard Engel, that guy who’s always in a hot spot?  Tell me more.
  42. A backstage spy told the New York Post’s Page Six” that rock star Katy Perry was so overcome with emotion at seeing Cyndi Lauper’s Broadway musical, “Kinky Boots” that “she was crying so hard she thought she lost an eyelash.”
  43. . . . . I always thought those things weren’t real.
  44. . . . . They’re long enough for a plane to land on ‘em and sticky enough for a fly to get stuck.
  45. Washington, D.C. is rolling out streetcars soon.  Mayor Vincent Gray and Mary Cheh (D-Ward 3),  head of the city council’s transportation committee, celebrated the arrival by having their picture taken next to one.
  46. . . . . They look kinda neat and retro.
  47. . . . . Let’s hope graffiti artists don’t choose them as their next palette.
  48. SWOOSH SOUNDS.  That’s what some TV news shows are using when they introduce reports, I guess, to signal the timeliness and immediacy of a story.
  49. . . . . It’s a gushing, rushing sound, something like when a car speeds past your window or a jet goes by before breaking the sound barrier.
  50. . . . . Its use dates back to the back –in-the-day tabloid “news” programs like “A Current Affair,” when they did anything visually and aurally to hype up the show.
  51. . . . . ABC’s World News” does it every time Diane Sawyer introduces a piece.
  52. . . . . It goes swoosh (or whoosh) and then swoosh again, -- two swooshes or whooshes
  53. . . . . Gee, what they won’t do to make TV better.
  54. INTENSE. There’s a job opening as a “digital media producer” for one of the networks. 
  55. . . . . They’re the ones in TV news who are responsible for all aspects of producing:  writing scripts, editing, shooting and booking.
  56. . . . . One of the many qualifications called for says:  “Must have strong writing skills and the ability to ‘crash’ high-end pieces and under extreme deadline.”
  57. . . . . That’s what they’re looking for nowadays. 
  58. . . . . One-man (-woman) bands.  They do everything.
  59. . . . . So you have to know it all in order to even be considered for the job.
  60. . . . . Back in my day all you needed to do was know somebody.
  61. RACY TOPIC OF DISCUSSION:  Michael Douglas, who plays Liberace in the HBO movie, “Behind the Candelabra,” insinuated in an article written by Lynn Hirschberg in New York magazine that the flamboyant entertainer had a 14-inch you-know-what.
  62. . . . . “It may not have been 14 inches but it was huge.”
  63. . . . . I guess he did his research.
  64. . . . . The movie airs May 26 Douglas really does look like the pianist/vocalist (whose full name was Wladziu or Vladziu Valentino Liberace and who was Polish-Italian) and Matt Damon looks perfect as his young lover and live-in boyfriend for five years, Scott Thorson.
  65. . . . . Looks pretty good.  God, I wish I got HBO.  Isn’t it free anywhere?
  66. Tony Siragusa is helping me “guard my manhood” with Depend (not Depends) undergarments.
  67. . . . . The former defensive tackle, NFL commentator and host of “Man Caves” offers  no-nonsense, tough-talking, macho advice to guys who experience bladder leakage.
  68. . . . .  It’s no big deal if it’s happening to you.  Depend Shields and Guards are the way to take charge of leaks – small ones and bigger ones.
  69. . . . . “If you get drips and dribbles here and there, Shields is where you need to head next.”
  70. . . . . “Experience larger surges of wetness?  Get to know Guards.
  71. . . . . Another thing for me to get ready for.
  72. . . . . UH . . . You Cheated (You Lied)” – The Shields, 1958, on Dot Records.

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